I have started at least 5 essays with stories ranging from how I feel about the election, to what it was like leaving Minnesota for North Carolina, then about Mr. VIP meeting Momma Tree, Turning 51 and finally about what I want for 2025.
Let me start with where I am currently at emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Physically-I am in Park Rapids Minnesota with Mr. VIP staying in our cozy little place. Today we looked at a bigger place, and the landlady looked at us like we were aliens when we asked her simple questions like “What is included with the rent?” or “What is the average electric bill?” “Is there air conditioning?” Her head nearly rolled off her body when Mr. VIP inspected the electric panel to see how things looked there. She even asked why he needed to see it. I think we all walked away from that encounter feeling leery of each other.
Emotionally and mentally I am gray. The other day I was in full dark. The closer we get to the inauguration, the more hopeless I become. My anxiety is off the charts, and while I know the only way out is through, my big question is, “Okay, but HOW?!” How do I navigate and guide myself and my loved ones through a system geared towards the utter destruction of humanity? You can bet that my religious upbringing and its emphasis on the “end times” and how horrible it would be is rearing it’s ugly head, hence the occasionally crippling anxiety attack.
But it isn’t all dark. I have a good job. I have the ability and privilege to write, and now that I have quit school, I can focus my energy here on Substack, work on my novel, and one other book.
I do have days where I wonder what the point is of doing any of this is, because it’s all likely going to come to screeching end. Then I remember this photo I took in an alley in Denver. Poignant for these times….
This is it. My mantra for the next 4 years.
Let’s move on to something more beautiful shall we?
I have mentioned Mr. VIP more than once at this point and while some of you are family and on my socials know him, I have kept him hidden here until I felt ready to tell our story.
Meet Mitch y’all. UGHHHH HE’S SO FIIIIIIINE.
How did we meet? On TikTok.
Yes for real. In March we connected there and it was just fun at first and then it was love. Love so beautiful I had to get on a plane to North Carolina to be near it. Near him.
We really wanted to make it work in North Carolina, but after Helene hit, I knew it wasn’t going to work and I was so homesick, we decided to leave and in early October we headed north to Minnesota on a Greyhound bus. THAT was an adventure…..
Our first weekend in Minnesota Mitch met Momma Tree and got to experience the cabin…
We have not had an easy beginning, but you would never know it. I will get into more details of our story, but we want to live a little more of it. I am so thankful to be hand in hand with this man. Everything is effortless and he makes me laugh so hard I fart and occasionally have to make a mad dash to the bathroom to keep from peeing my pants.
We are creating something beautiful together. And I hope we get at least 30 years to do this.
Hello my bestie! I finally made it here. 💚